my friend matthew

I got some new jeans and a t-shirt today. I haven't been shopping in forever, it felt good to do something for myself for once. I think I focus on everyone else too much. Or maybe just this one person too much. Anyway, it's good to spend time with yourself. You don't always have to be with people, that's what KG has shown me.

At this very instant, I am the most frustrated I've been in a long while. I can't get anyone's attention in any way. Even if I literally call and ask, people don't respond. It's just getting really old. I know I just sound like some desperate loser who can't find a friend, but that's the truth, that's exacly what I am.

I'm waiting on everyone else around me. No one tells me anything, I just sit on the side. I hate this.

When you pull a highschool prank, it's supposed to be funny. It's really funny until someone tells on you, then everyone just wants to kill that person that tells. I'm praying for you Ally. I hope you make it outta there alive.

Life has suddenly gotten much more simple but lonely.

Wouldn't it be nice if we were older, then we wouldn't have to wait so long...

Bad day... Lonely day...

Hopeheartsboys: "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." -Jeremiah 29:11

I'm going to begin my enlightenment soon. Once my hair is gone and I'm physically simple, the rest will all settle around me.

Rest in peace Grandma Perry, I will always remember all the good times.

KEEP RAD IN YOUR THOUGHTS TODAY, ESPECIALLY AROUND 100 PM TODAY. He'll be under the knife, it's a simple procedure but every little prayer helps, ya know?

Geese did that take forever or what? I was working on that for like 3 hours just now. I just thought it was time for a change. Some other people's blogs began to look a lot like mine. *clears throat suggestively*

I think my ego's gotten pretty big lately cuz I've been expecting big things for me. Maybe not just big, but significant. I think I need to have a very humbling experience before tomorrow or I will still be expecting these wonderful things from people. I just expect to make people happy and I know I'm not doing that.
I think I should cut of my hair, shave my beard and subject myself to clothing without label. You think that would take care of the high-and-mighty complex? I wonder...

I want to skip the next 4 years of my life and get married. I wanna get married sooo bad! I've heard this song a million times but today was the first time I listened to the words. It's me man, it's exactly how I feel.

Wouldn't it be nice if we were older
Then we wouldn't have to wait so long
And wouldn't it be nice to live together
In the kind of world where we belong

You know its gonna make it that much better
When we can say goodnight and stay together

Wouldn't it be nice if we could wake up
In the morning when the day is new
And after having spent the day together
Hold each other close the whole night through

Happy times together we've been spending
I wish that every kiss was neverending
Wouldn't it be nice

Maybe if we think and wish and hope and pray it might come true
Baby then there wouldn't be a single thing we couldn't do
We could be married
And then we'd be happy

Wouldn't it be nice

You know it seems the more we talk about it
It only makes it worse to live without it
But lets talk about it
Wouldn't it be nice

Good night my baby
Sleep tight my baby

-The Beach Boys

Big Fish, good movie. Kaitlyn, good times.

Life is so real sometimes. We'll miss you Jonathan.

I don't think Michael Jackson's a bad dude, and I definitely don't think the way he is is any of his own fault. I think he had a horrible childhood which has caused him to grow up in constant states of confusion. But if I were a parent, there'd be now way in heck that I'd let my kids stay the night at his house! It's not his fault, it's the parents' fault. His parents and the kids parents. All the blame is falling on him. Those parents had to have known better than to send their kids off to some color changing skinny guy with a sillyputty nose and high pitched voice. That's just common sense. You KNOW he's got problems.

The Leap Hour was a concept I came up with in '02. I just thought you might enjoy reading something from that early on. I did... But I'm also lame like that.

I got a copy of the Book of Mormon today from Allison. We talked all period in art. Then at the end of the whole period, I found out it was her B-day. I felt so bad for bugging her so much. HAPPY 18th BIRTHDAY ALLISON!!!
Anyway... Making up rocks. KG rocks. She rocks my world. Tonight is a good night for all lovers everywhere.

This is LDS' Scripture Collection on the official LDS website at www.lds.org. Humorous? Maybe... But I've been just intrigued by the commitment these crazy people have to their religion. I want that type of commitment to my own Bible. I'm gonna search for what drives them and when I find it, I will first analyze whether it's of God or not. If not, then to shame with it. If so, I will gladly apply it to my own religious studies, or lack of religious studies...

Redwood VS. Mt. Whitney soccer game is tonight. I'm excited! I think I'm gonna take Symmi. It's gonna be cold so I gotta protect him from the weather. Right now he's chillin' just eating some food while I type. I love his little mannerisms.

After about a half hour of pitching the whole iPod iTunes idea to my father, he bought and iPod and has already started downloading all kinds of books and music. Maybe I should be a sales rep for Apple. How sick would that job be? Or some sort of person in advertising, I love their style. NM have a good day, don't have weird dreams.

I just bought my first "book" off iTunes' music store. It's actually an interview with Amy Sedaris by Terry Gross. It's Terry's show called "Fresh Air" and I have to say that it's hilarious. I've listened to the sample but I'm saving the rest for a time KG and I can be together. One of those boring Krispey Kreme times when we have nothing better to do. Geese, it's like 48 min long. This is awesome.

I'm doing the thing that I thought I'd never do. I'm downloading Apple's music program, iTunes. They've just sounded so intriguing ever since I purchased my iPod. Maybe they've brain washed me since them, because to DL a single song it's a whopping 99cents. To legally fill my iPod I would have to spend 5,000 dollars.
I'm not saying I'm gonna do that. But iTunes offers so much more than just songs, they have over 5,000 titles in audio books. I want to DL all of David Sedaris' stuff and Amy's as well. I would pay that fee be whatever it is. I know it'll be cheaper than buying the audio CD's which I've already done so in two different cases. I want to buy all the awesome books I hear about so I can hear the authors read them to me while I drive to school. I want to be taught by these geniuses with pens. Darn am I excited!

Kaitlyn and I have adopted a new member into our family. His name is Symmi and he's the cutest little dwarf hamster in the world. He's no bigger than a half dollar coin and he's as gentle as a summer breeze. I'll have pics of the whole family up real soon.

This is Winston Churchill's parrot and was proven to be 104 years old. He taught her to say many phrases including, "F*** the Nazis" and "F*** Hitler". I think it's hillarious that even though Charlie's 104 years old, she still does it. He died something like 40 years ago, but part of his vocabulary lives on through this wonderful bird.

More powerwashing for sure today. Then I think I'm going to a movie with Kaitlyn. That new one with Ben Stiller and Jennifer Aniston. Did you see that grizzly bear show on TLC or the Discovery channel. It was awesome. She was like playing with them and Brad Pitt got licked, hardcore.

The most boring day of my life so far, and it's just been confirmed that the rest will be just as bad.

The ninjas were busted yesterday. And today I gotta power wash the concrete all around the house. I need my iPod and some adderall and I'll be set for a few hours. Pray for peace among lovers. Bye now.

This world is full of sluts and man-whores, and if you're not careful your going to spread your disease even further. I say this in the sense that your children will most likely turn out a lot like you and if they have the same beliefs as you, are you comfortable with that? Are you HONESTLY comfortable with having sex before marriage, or even something as simple as kissing someone you're not committed to? The fact is, it's not that simple. A person gives a piece of themselves away everytime they flirt, touch, kiss, etc. Especially if that other person is someone who's not mutually committed to you. I'm sorry for going all crazy all of a sudden, but am I really being that crazy? Or are the people that get drunk and makeout going crazy? Think about it, think about what it will be like to simply kiss your future husband or wife after you've previously kissed more than 20 different people. Even 5 different people. Wouldn't it be all the more special if that was the only person we ever shared physical stimulation with? Obviously it would be. I'm just really dissapointed in the way the world's acting. I was there once guys, I know how you feel. But just wait for it. Save yourselves, you've got your whole lives ahead of you to get drunk, makeout and have sex, WITH YOUR SPOUSE!!!

My goodness, do girls make you do crazy things or what?!

I'm the craziest person ever. Just slap me if you ever get annoyed of me or catch me being dumb. Then after you slap me, explain that I told you to do so on my website.

Maybe it's cuz I wake up at 3 AM every morning.

Why do I feel so lonely?

It seems as though every time I'm having a good day, everyone else is having a bad day.

I started this meditation thing last night where you just sit down, focus on one (simple) thing, and breathe. Once you sit down and get your spine as straight as possible with your head held tall and straight, you choose something to focus on with your eyes. It could be a crack in a wall, a flame from a candle, etc. Then begin to breathe. But as quietly as you can. Make no noise when inhaling and exhaling. Your breaths should be as full as possible, and after every inhalation, pause for 2 seconds before breathing out. Focus on your breathing and after a period of time, your mind will wander and try to think of other things like your problems or worries or maybe even positive things but you must bring yourself back to focusing on the breath. Seriously try it for like 10 minutes, it'll make you feel so relaxed and tranquil. You will be able to face your real problems with a sense of calmness instead of panic. It's weird but so awesome.

Went bowling for Mario's birthday today. Saw Clinton there, and a bunch of peeps I haven't seen in a while. It was pretty fun. My cuzin Alyssa's family is hardcore into bowling with custom balls and drilled holes and stuff. It's really goofy but fun at the same time. I love those guys. They invited me to their next practice. They play in a league and their name is "the Flame Throwers".

I'm back cracka! I'm proclaiming my love for Bjork today. Wow she really rocks my world. You should listen to her music. She once suggested that there's a song for every occasion. I love that idea. You can totally sense that through her songs. I dunno. I miss video. I need more time man, ya know?

Roxane, you don't have to wear that dress tonight! Someone DLed that song on my pc and I just listened to it. Packing for Hume tonight cuz there's nothing else to do. Today was really boring. I hope tomorrow's a little better. Hume should be really fun. A bunch of old friends are going and the crew. Jason Zeeb called us "the family" last night. Yeah, this post sucks. I got busted for one of my posts so I might not be too hot to type today. Anyway, you won't hear from me after tomorrow, so I'll post monday or something. Bye.

I dunno if I told you about my days as a ninja, but yep, I was one. I still am, but right now they're having me work undercover. They're sending me back up so we can take down all the bad guys in town man. Imgaine (if you were a bad guy) 4 dark shadows lurking up on you. You don't know which way to run so you stand your ground. You put up your duces, but it don't matter when two of the ninja's have 8 foot staffs and the other two have ninja stars. Suddenly you're out cold and wake up in your jail cell, where you belong. Yeah.

I want to be a hermit sooo bad sometimes.

Tonight was good. Stuff's smoothing out between Kaitlyn and I. We're still working on a few things, but I think it should be pretty smooth sailing from here on out.

Excited about psychology tomorrow. Mr. Burke (sp?) is awesome. We had a discussion about the guy on 60 Min. last Sunday. It was some professor from Harvard that suggested that we'd see the world in a different way if we weren't brought up the way we are. If we didn't know how to read or do math or speak, we'd see the world in a different way.

NOOOOOOO!!! Not schoooool!!!

Went snowboarding with Matthew today. It was the best day yet up at the mountain. Saw Dustin and friends up there. Snowboarded with them a bit. It was quite fun. A great way to end an awesome Christmas break! My first time driving up to the Summit! Woo HOOO! I got a whole bunch of salt all over my car from the road and since I never wash it, I'll probably be looking pretty hardcore in my "ride" with salt and dirt all over it.
I sat on chair 22 today and on the upright pole was written,
"POOP FOR ALL OF MANKIND"
We thought Carl would have really liked that chair, on account of her obsession with these 3 things: poop, mankind, and the number 2. (or 22 because that's two 2s)
MY SECRET = I just threw "mankind" in there for kicks.

Save yourselves for your spouses guys. You won't realize how much it will affect you until you get married. I'm not just talking about sex either. Be careful with everything you have because once you give it away, you can't ever take it back.

You know that saying, "Put the past behind you"
Well you can do that with a lot of things, but there are a few things that you can't do that with. Be careful of the choices you make because they do affect the outcome of your life.

Wow, I want to scream so loud right now!!!!

I was in the news paper!!! (what a fag) It's an article about rebuilding the dummies yesterday. It was all Matthew's idea but he couldn't be there because he was up snowboarding with his "snowboarding" G-friend. Mine doesn't, so we didn't go. But yeah, it's a funny story, I suggest you read it. Click the links above stinker. There's pics too.

Amy Sedaris was on Conan last night! I think it'll be on Comedy Central at 7. Watch if you wanna laugh.