my friend matthew

I worked my butt off all summer, and I ended up with about $3,500. And no, I'm not bragging, but if I was, I think I have a right. I worked 40+ hours starting the day after graduation up until the Friday before COS started. Where's all that money been going? To The Official Snowboarding for Joshua Fund! I'm not much of a shopper but here are some items that I've bought with my hard earned dough:

cotton hoodie


fleecy-fleecy bang-bang!


beanie for rock and roll

The ultimate reason I present you with these pictures of items bought with The Official Snowboarding for Joshua Fund's money is because they are totally CHOICE... (thanks Ferris)
But the ultimate ULTIMATE reason is that I'm afraid you won't be on the hill the same time as I, so you can't spot me in my awesome duds so the only solution is that I pompously show them off via the world wide web.

Joshua's Idea of the Week
I'm gonna write about a great idea once everyweek. Well probably not. I'll probably forget, but if I remember I'll do it next week too. Here it is:

I've never been into the back of a bank before, but from what I've seen in the movies, there's always a big vault. My great idea is to build custom vaults for banks, but the significant thing about my vaults is that they are fake. If robbers were to ever rob a bank that invested in one of my vaults, they would walk into the back and see two big vault doors. Then they would decide on which vault to enter and take money from first. My vault would be bigger so they pick it. Oh yeah, it would also be open just a crack so the robber doesn't have to crack the code to open it. Once he opens it and walks in to find there's no money, he'll cross the laser beam and the vault door will slam behind him. That's because it's not really a vault, it's a trick vault! Tadaa!!!

I want to be cool. I want people to look at that nasty hippie with a beard and go, "He's cool."

I miss you Kaitlyn.

I have a fat confession to make: I love that song by Franz Ferdinand, Take Me Out. It rocks me so hard. Gosh.

I planned on having like five friends over tonight. People called people and it turned into like 15. My parents came home and acted all cool until I got home from dropping someone off. My dad freaked on me. He was yelling and was using the "F" word. It was scary to see him lash out like that. Sometimes I wonder if he means it when he threatens to hit me.

You know those dogs that retarded people in wheelchairs have? Yeah the one's that help them open tin cans and write letters home and stuff. When I grow up and get a dog, I hope I get one that originally belonged to a retard in a wheelchair. Then the dog would be like, "Wow this guy is smart, he can make his own sandwiches and buckle himself up in the car." The dog would love me compared to a retard.

eatsnowitswater

Yeah, that was stuipid. I just try to get attention when I do things like black-out my website and act like something freakin' horrible happened to me. Something bad did happen but no one died or anything.

*Edited because my sister was respected*

When you come clean, about an old lie, to the person who gets you the most, do they spit in your face? Well that's what happened to yours truly.

When I grow up, I probably won't become a highschool math teacher. But if I do end up teaching highschool, I would give this announcement at the beginning of the school year:

"My class is gonna kill you. It's the hardest math class you've ever heard of. If you're gonna fail by semester, the only way to bring your grade up is by doing extra credit. The only extra credit I give is for farting in class. Everytime you gotta rip one, do it. Then you gotta claim it right away or someone next to you might try and steal your glory."

The only problem is that all the boys would get good grades and go off to Stanford and all the UCs. The girls would cry and cry.

When I was little, we were too poor to buy a toilet plunger. My mom eventually ran accross a detached vacuum hose at a garage sale early one Saturday morning. It was soon dubbed as the "Ghetto-Plunger." Clearly listed in its user manual were the instructions as follows:
1. Place broad end of your Ghetto-Plunger firmly into the problem area
2. Take a deap breath and cautiously seal lips against opposite end of Ghetto-Plunger (DO NOT inhale)
3. Blow FURIOUSLY

Kaitlyn and I bought this sick thing from Software.etc on Sunday. It was kinda pricey but since the purchase, we've realized it was worth it. It's Tetris. Like the old original Tetris with that Russian castle in the backgrounds. But it rocks so bad. It's two players with two different controllers. And they just plug right into your RCA jacks on your TV. Simple as that. No system or anything. 20 bucks

Facing the reality of true love hurts soooo bad.

When is snow gonna be here. I'm so ready to go!

Then it hits me. Tyler's words coming out of my mouth:

"It's only after you've lost everything that you're free to do anything."

I feel like someone locked me in a dark stone castle. Even then, they made sure that there is no one here with me. I'm forced to walk it's long dark halls hearing nothing but echoes from my feet. I decide on one hall as mine. I walk back and forth, up and down this hall all day long. I will soon be forced to spend the night here. I sleep right infront of the door I entered through, praying that my sentencer will have pitty on me and open it. I've made no fuss louder than my footsteps and have not challenged my sentencing. I've been a good prisoner. I'm one step closer to hitting rock bottom.

The last time I checked, I was very lonely.

I don't know what to do with myself. I need something but I don't know what it is.

The season is coming up and I dunno how many people still read this site but Will and I are organizing a snowboarding trip through INVASION again this year. Seriously, if you want information, please email me (joshuaperry@gmail.com). Even if you're pretty positive you can't go. If you have the slightest incling of "That might be fun." Please email me and I'll get you info right away.

All I know so far is it will be from the December 19-22 and will cost $400. That includes your:
- Transportation
- Hotel
- Lift tickets (for all the days)

Email me as soon as possible. I know it's far away but I just want y'all to get as stoked about it as I am!!!

Cuz I'm Fairweather Johnson... Like a prancin' honey pie!!
-Hootie & The Blowfish

A letter written to my Economics teacher:

Dear Mr. Anderson,

The following is a short story about how I missed you by 15 minutes today. (Friday) If you don't wanna read it, just fast forward to the ending paragraph. Hey! My mom said it was funny.

My name's Joshua Perry, and I'm in your Econ 1 class on Tuesdays and Thursdays at 9:10. You told us that we could turn in our group projects a day later than you had originally said, so my group decided that Thursday night would be a good time for ME to compile everything, put it into words, print it out, and deliver it. I'm frantically working on it most of this morning and a bit into the afternoon when I realize that Mr. Anderson might not hang out at COS all day long. He may not have class all day and he may go home relatively early on Fridays. All the while not realizing that you don't even have office hours listed for Friday.

When I arrive with finished project in hand, I run up the stairs and down the hall to your office. I'm greeted by a dark room behind a locked door and an instant world of dread. Your colleague, a few doors down exclaims, "Student? Mr. Anderson left about 15 minutes ago." (More dread)

I call your phone number and I'm startled by a loud phone ringing in the dark room behind the locked door in front of me. As tears roll down my face (not really) I bend over and carefully slide the stapled project under your door (really) in hopes of you returning later and finding it. At the moment the project entered your office (via the crack at the bottom of the door) a heavenly light instantly beamed down upon me from inside. I don't care if it was the project that set off the motion sensor that turned the office light on, I took it as a sign.

More specifically a sign that would be spoken in a booming God-like voice, "Joshua, do not fret. Mr. Anderson will laugh at your feeble attempt to amuse him through this email and accept your 15 minute late group assignment." I stood up; all tears gone from my face and marched down the hall with confidence.

I'm basically saying that I missed you by 15 minutes and am asking you if an emailed version of the project will suffice? Please email me back. Thanks.
--
Joshua Perry

My Economics group ditched me with like half the information I need to put together our report and presentation. It sucks. I dunno half the people in the group and if they even did anything to contribute to it. Now I half to rush to put it together and turn it in. I dunno if I'm the slacker here or they are. I just wanted to tell them "You slackers, you can't put this on me!!! When it comes down to it, you gotta get off your nancy and get this sh*t done!" Then for dramatic effect, I'd growl like a tiger and bite off one of their fingers. Not one finger from each person, just one finger from one of them. Then the rest would be like, "You see what he did to that other dude? I don't want that guy to do that to me! I dunno 'bout you fellers but I'm gonna get my work done next time."

Oh yeah, and who wants Gmail? Seriously I don't care who you are, I have 6 invites. If you want it, email me at joshuaperry@gmail.com

I once rocked... Now I roll.

I went to the beach over the long weekend. KG's family went to so we got to hang out a bit. It was fun; I learned about shopping from Kaitlyn, that was an experience. Back to school now. So much work so much time. Sucks. Arg.

Ok, so seriously who wants to be in my movie?

No I'm not but I wish I could. Geese it's beautiful.

I cannot believe it!!! Apple just introduced an iMac G5!!! AHHHHHH!!! I'm gonna buy it right now!