my friend matthew
theme: once upon a time i was young and confused
Friday, October 31, 2003
Happy Halloween! I should be asleep for SATs tomorrow. Have a good night everyone! See you there MLCBandKG... Don't forget your calculators!
Thursday, October 30, 2003
But seriously, I remember a time when cussing really WAS bad. Like my freshman and sophomore years. I was cuss free for most of it, then some time before Jr. year, the mouth got dirty again. I used to be so disgusted when I heard cusswords, like even sh*t or damn. It came up in Bible study and we all kinda promised to try and stop. I just know that at one time in my life, I didn't have to try. I was disgusted when I heard that stuff and never said any of it. I want to have that feeling again, I felt a tad more pure than I do now. I have more reasons now to be that way again.
There's this one girl I know, and she's never the same. I got really frustrated with it for a little while, but then realized that it's more exciting this way. I can't imagine ever getting bored with her. She really keeps to herself which means I'll always have a lot to learn about her. Bottom line is that I'm really excited about the future because of her... Thank you Kaitlyn, for sticking up with me.
I wonder how much gas I would save if I didn't come home every day for lunch. Well, if I had somewhere else to go, I guess I would waste just as much. Having an odd but good day so far.
Didn't sleep very well last night. Had a bad dream about my dad yelling at me about some pictures. It was weird. They were like old photographs of my little brother on a bike, as if he was a secret or something. He was like, "I don't know how you found these but you've hurt your father more times in the last 5 hours than you've ever hurt him in your life!!!"
It was sad (and weird). Anyway, hope today is better.
Cussing is bad.
Wednesday, October 29, 2003
I want to be a lion for just 30 seconds so I can roar really really loud!!!! RAAAAAWWWWWWWWRRRRRR!!!!!
I've turned to cleaning my room. Nothing else to do, no one else to be with. Anyway, I have entirely too many articles of clothing of which most, I haven't worn in the past year. I can't seem to get rid of them though. This is horrible. I need those people from TLC to just throw it all away for me, so I won't have any say about what should stay or go. This sucks.
I hate it when you're sooo lonely that you imagine your cellphone vibrating in your pocket, then when you look to see who's calling, no one's there... Well maybe that just happens to me... *shrugandfrown*
Another lunch spent at home. Sometimes it seems like everyone disapeers, or maybe I'm the one who disapeers in their eyes. Gonna eat a Clif Bar and go back to school soon. Have a good Wednesday everyone.
The people that have the best days are the one's who don't realize how much people like me envy them. So today, I plan not to realize other people and how they may feel about each other, and in turn, I should have an awesome day.
"As we grow older, wisdom becomes our mistress" -unknown
That's so true! There's a time in everyone's life where you stop focusing on stupid stuff like drugs, sex, or partying and you begin to grow up. We used to look at those people like they were so cool because they went to parties and were popular. Now, I personally have realized that I have a head start on those people. I'm more intelligent and will be just that much more cognitive that them. When they finally figure out that none of that matters, it will take them just as long to recover from their drunken and drugged up lives to where they can function again. I know chronic drug users who aren't as "smart" or as "witty" as they used to be. It's no fun around them anymore. But worst of all, it's sad for me to think that I feel differently about someone because they screwed their brains up. I feel like that's me judging them... and it is me judging them compared to what they could be. What they used to be. It just sucks.
I go to sleep so early, only to wake up even earlier the next day. Today should be pretty cold, and tomorrow, even colder. I can't WAIT for the snow. Gonna go sign up for Scicon today, I loved that place! It should be fun
So looking for stuff to spend money on. I don't have that much, but I should soon. I don't know if I want a MAC right now. I may just wait 'till they have a really nice one out and I have a real reason for it. Anyway, read books and turn off your TVs, except for Viva la Bam and Wildboys on Sunday nights at 9 on MTV.
Tuesday, October 28, 2003
Which one's cooler? I'm leaning toward the grey. 75BUCKS! Ya think it's worth it? (it's fleece!)
What is it about these last few weeks? I feel like I don't understand anything that goes on. It feels like nothing's going anywhere. I need to MOVE people.... MOVE!!!
So the game was pretty exciting. James went too. I wish things wouldn't fluctuate the way they do between people. It really sucks last time. I was really looking forward to going out to dinner, but people were upset. I went to Carl's Jr anyway. I'm not gonna let them spoil my night! lol, JK! Good game, girls!
Hoping to go to waterpolo game today.
I took BUZZED to school today and everyone seemed to love it. It's honestly really informative. Did you know that cigarettes are more addictive than heroine? (one of the most addictive drugs known of) That's crazy. Why are things like that legal? What a messed up world.
Home again for lunch. I'm lame. I just found out that on Halloween it should be really cold. Like mid 30s. That'll be interesting. Too bad I can't stay up too late because I have SATs next morning. I'm excited though. I'll wear pirate pants or sweats or something. It'll up my scores. Welp, off to school for choir and art.
Woke up just now, and was all scurrying to get in the shower because I was sure it was 730. I was also wondering why my alarm clock didn't go off. So, I come and sit down at my PC and see that it's really 630. What a crazy thing.
Monday, October 27, 2003
MY COMMENTS THING WORKS NOW!!! YAY!!! LEAVE COMMENTS EVERYONE!
Pasta was good. So was everything else. It's fun at the Brown's, I feel accepted there. LOL!
Just got word that we're not gonna get the piano today. Bummed out, but pasta for R.W. girls waterpolo means pasta for Joshua and Matthew.
So today rocked. I almost ditched P.E. today but resisted. It seems as though it easier to dip on something if you've already been dipping, lol... So yeah, P.E. was actually kinda fun. I'm always Matt's partner, the new guy. He's not so bad, he doesn't talk verymuch either.
Went to Watson's today at lunch with the crew and randomly saw Rudy and MY MOMMY there. It was a nice surprise. Excited about piano, might go get it today.
Wow, I slept really well last night. I am not looking forward to school today. I have no idea of what homework is due and such things. I want to stay home. Monday's suck. I'm taking SAT's on Saturday morning so I can't stay up too late on Friday. But I'm not the only one, I found out that KG and CAB are taking them on the same day in the same place. I'm excited. Well, I need to go eat something and get some clothes on, have a freakin' good day everyone! I will!
Sunday, October 26, 2003
I saw Amanda tonight.
I missed the play today, but hanging out with Daniel and everyone was AWESOME! I was in a really bad mood and you guys really cheered me up. I love my friends.
Last night, I bought Buzzed, a book about the morst used and abused drugs. It explains the good and the bad on each one. It's quite interesting. It's really turned me off to caffeine. I suggest you take a look at it if you are ever curious ab out any drug, or someone you care about it using or even just curious. It's good to know the facts .
Watching "the BEAST" and "Little BullDog" fight was the most fun I had all day, thanks guys. I'll see everyone at school, LEAVE COMMENTS!
Saturday, October 25, 2003
Bored out of my mind.
I hate today.
Bored off my behind. I added a comment option on the right-hand side of the page. Yeah, right there under everything, you may need to scroll down. It's neat and more discrete than I've ever seen one. Leave a little message I would love to hear from the people viewing my site.
Gonna go watch Reloaded.
Good Morning! So, I don't expect anyone to call me today, especially after the way I acted last night. I plan for boredom and depression (it's always better if you plan for it) because I hate being caught off-gaurd. Someone prove me wrong, please?
Friday, October 24, 2003
Controlling other people is not the answer to the question of happiness.
I had a great time tonight with AJ MATT KG and CAB. Sorry for ditching you Amanda, I know that was rude of us. Isn't it sad, that after a night of fun, I have so many sorries? Sorry KG for being annoying. Goodnight.
I love the friendship that I have with Hope now. We can talk about anything, yes even our boy/girl interests, and still get along fine! We've been so honest with eachother that it's impossible to be mad. I really know that you're gonna go far in this life Hope. Even though you're not a big fan of education, I'm just waiting for the day, like 10 years from now, when I turn on E! and see you walk out and blow kisses to everyone at the end of your fashion show. Haha.
Some people are different around different people.
The only one time I've ever seen my mother a little drunk was at the beach with my aunt Lorie. I mean, who else could get my mom more than buzzed other than the craziest most laid-back aunt on the planet. I love them both for who they are. My mother, the steaming conservative... and my aunt Lorie, the one who drives a 2003 Porsche S4. (really fast)
I just saw the coolest VH1 commercial ever. It was this big "circus" of video clips with Do You Realize, by the Lips playing in the background, and every now and then was a clip of them. But on top of all of that was black and white animation of vines and flowers growing up the sides of the screen, and the lyrics were written across the screen as they sang. Wow, what an awesome commercial. It just made my morning.
Woke up just now. Why so early? I've never had a dream like I just had. I rarely have dreams about people I know.
Thursday, October 23, 2003
Amanda rocks
I know a girl named Amanda.
she's got a pet panda,
who sit's on the curb and uh,
it sells propaganda
Amanda named her panda Miranda
so buy some propaganda
from the panda named Miranda
who belongs to Amanda
who moved to Uganda!
Oh man, I know exactly what it is but I can't say it. That would be the old Joshua speaking. It's time for the new Joshua who supresses his negative comments. Beware all, here comes nothin'!!!
So there's something about me that's different than other boys. I need to know how to flirt. It's killing me. I have this rare chance at something awesome but this is the first time that flirting's been required. I mean, I can talk and laugh about stuff, but when it comes down to poking and wrestling, Joshua turns into a scared little wuss. I think it's just branches off my habit of "not flirting" with every girl I see. But it's turned into something far worse. I hope I can either become more confident or get by without that skill. Well, we will see soon enough, won't we?
Wednesday, October 22, 2003
So I left bible study early to come home and study for these 2 big tests tomorrow. Welllllll, I didn't open one book or study one word, I was too busy being bitter about today.
On a lighter note, Happy Birthday Connor. I'm really glad I was able to contribute on your special day.
So today I learned I'm not as exciting as most people. I don't flirt or contest as well as others and that's a solid drawback in my life. I guess I'm dealing with it, and that's good. Better than I've ever dealt with it before. Now that just sounds silly. I'm cutting my hair tonight so I may have a tad more confidence tomorrow. Watch out Flowbee, here I come!
Woke up early again. Off to school to do my HW. I hope I get it done. Not going to be in the library anymore, even though I was going there first! j/k... So, try and have a good day everyone because I'm going to try to as well.
Tuesday, October 21, 2003
Ok, so I found that comedian that I was telling you about. Margaret Cho is a genius. You gotta see her stand up!
Erase that last blog, because I promised to be patient (which is going to be really hard) and I need to work on that more than any other problem I have right now. Being patient. It's a virtue baby. I hope the water polo game went well.
I love life! There are so many bad times, but OH SO MANY GOOD TIMES TO COME!
Ok, so erase the last three things off the list. It's a bad day. I might as well say goodnight right now.
OK. It's today. List of things to do:
-Go to school library finish HW
-Drag my lazy butt from class to class
-Go home for lunch and dip my head in pool
-Drag lazy butt back to school
-Come home after art
-Maybe get piano(s)
-Go to KEG&CAB's h2o polo game at 615/630ish
-Come home and conclude with joy
Monday, October 20, 2003
I can't wait 'till tomorrow. What color should I paint my piano? The one I want to buy from Hyashi has 2 broken hammers, but right now it's a dark brown. I want to paint it like blue or red. Anyway, I'm gonna repair it and paint it up like an apple.
Today was long and boring until I got excited about pianos, then James came over and we played Halo baby. Then I sit here alone waiting for a new day. James and I went and bought a 1 gallon water thing and we're going to drink them every day. Lack of water can cause obesity. (ewe) I love the lovely.
Sunday, October 19, 2003
So I got to see Daniel today. He's walking and talking and making jokes and everything. I have so much care for that little guy. I'm now an honorary "Friends of Daniel" member and you can be one too, just ask me or Matthew. That just means that you get an awesome shirt that says Friends of Daniel on it. Yay for him! He's such a strong person.
My sister made this sandwich last night and sticks it in the fridge... Only for me to find later on that evening and ONLY for me to savagely devour while she slept, in her bed. See, the thing is; no clues pointed to the fact that it was her sandwich. But upon recent discovery, I've been labeled the purp. It sucks. A lot of good people do a lot of very bad things.
Good day eh? Happy birthday Jessica!
I really like you Kaitlyn. Thanks for tollerating me today.
Saturday, October 18, 2003
WOW! Dude the best browser ever is Mozilla. If you're tired of pop ups, you might want to go there and DL it.
Today sucks so far.
I would say that I love sleeping, but how do I really know that I love it. It's not like I think about how much I love it in the middle of the process. I'm unconcious, so how will I ever figure out how I feel about sleeping.
I can't sleep... Tonight kinda sucked. Drama just seems to come out of nowhere sometimes. I don't know what I did wrong, but acting like I'm no one isn't going to help.
Communication and honesty are key.
Stuff's tough with old friends.
Friday, October 17, 2003
HAPPY BIRTHDAY MATTHEW LOVIK!!!
Thursday, October 16, 2003
It's always easier to say what you should have done after everything's over. The problem is that you can't help thinking about it. If I only knew, I would have been there for you every day. Connor, I know we weren't much more than acquaintances, but I care about you more than you'll ever know.
Wednesday, October 15, 2003
Today was a good day. It sounds like everyone had a good day. I hope so. Today was a good K.G. day as well. She wasn't as disgusted with me as she usually is.
Anyway. Tomorrow we sing... ALL DAY! I don't really want to, but we get to miss all of our classes except for 7th. But that's art and I like art. I'm almost done with my painting. It's due tomorrow so you can assume that's a good thing.
Tuesday, October 14, 2003
"You could just simply ask,
and I'd come running back,
to you...
like I'd never left in the first place,
things would be so perfect,
just as perfect as before... I went away..."
Sometimes you can try as hard as possible and see no result. What do you do after that? Try, try again? Ok, here goes...
A.J. suggested that Moonlight Harvest could be fun. I may think so too. Hmmm...
Yeah so I tried to post earlier about my broken elbow, but obviously it didn't work, so here's the 2nd draft:
So I was running through my house at wicked speed and as I cock my arm back behind my head to throw stringcheeses at Tyler and Alex, I hit it on the door frame. Yes, that sounds bad, but let me explain the details. My elbow specificaly hits a corner right as I decided it was time to THROW the stringcheeses. Then as I roll around on the ground in agony, Tyler and Alex throw the stringcheeses back at me. I got really weird feeling and really dizzy and yelled at Tyler to turn on the ceiling fans. Oh man, what a crazy accident.
In my last post that never posted, I said: "It hurt like magic" But I've since decided that's gay.
I'm just a wittle water bucket... :)
Monday, October 13, 2003
The beginning of today sucked. Now it's better. I'm washing my car... Come help me please. But seriously call me...
Oh yeah... Did you ever hear of the Ice Man that they found back in 91? He's prehistoric, probably a couple thousand years old. Anyway, I think he was found in Austria. But what I was really speculating on was how famous he is now. When I'm about to die, I'll climb to the top of a mountain (can't tell anyone where) and freeze myself there, so some hikers can find my body like 2thousand years from now, and I'll be in magazines and on TV. Good idea eh?
Sunday, October 12, 2003
So... Life's tough but it's getting better. Let's pray for eachother... Ready, set, go!
Saturday, October 11, 2003
How do you get someone to want to spend time with you? Things aren't going very well lately. KG you need to quit soccer and get ungrounded.
Friday, October 10, 2003
KILL BILL = AWESOME!!!
Really tired of the whole girls thing. I really try. I wish I was gay sometimes.
Thursday, October 09, 2003
Now that's rolling, I have to quote JB.
"It's KG with a feather, the French tickler!"
-JB
OK people. I'm posting the Neverhood in daily enstallments on another site. I think I'll use tadashi. Go ahead and check it out. I don't think it's very fancy but if you want to read the story, a bit will be added everyday.
email me and tell me what you think about it (eatsnowitswater@hotmail.com)
You like my links list? It's freakin ugly but oh so practical.
Being truthful rocks eh? I have to give my bro and sis a ride today at 730, so I'm up at 630. I don't even think I'm going to get ready, I think I'll just sit around 'till then, give them a ride, then come home and get ready. Yep, it's all planned out, exciting huh?
Bjork rules
Wednesday, October 08, 2003
my unrevised screenplay:
--Preamble--
***I am Quater. Read my words, and be my friend. Father commands me to record the truth of history, so that readers will learn from those who went before.
Therefore, I give each of my seven sons one of these self-engraving, history-recording klay walls. This wall automatically records the activity in this world, and in any other world containing one of the other walls. Behold. Anyone who tampers with the records on these walls will be considered the enemy of Father. I will not like you much, either.
This wall is given by Father. It will teach you to acquire wisdom, integrity and skills for solving problems. In each of our lives, we must make decisions. When these times come, be ready to make the right choices. Continue in what you know is true, though truth is often hard to see. These walls may hold the only truths you will know.***
(I think I'll post daily enstallments of this on another blog, but here's your first taste... Hope you liked it.)
Great Rockers:
-David Bowie
-Bjork
-Phish
-Roy Orbison
-Journey
-Postal Service
-Ben Folds
-Tomoyasu Hotei
In art class. Sucks, I left my painting in my car, but I've finally come up with a sketch that I'm willing to bust out on the board. Chang was sitting across the room, but now she's looking over my shoulder as I write this... GTG
I woke up this morning at like 3 AM and turned on some music and sat down for two hours and crochetted a little pouch for my iPod. I went to sleep at like 9 last night, why can't I sleep? I hate these kinds of nights. I wish I could sleep all night without tossing and turning. I don't know what it is that keeps me awake. I don't feel very stressed out or anything. ARG!
"Ground control to Major Tom... Ground control to Major Tom... Take your protein pills and put your helmets on... 10.. 9.. 8.. 7.. 6.. 5.. 4.. 3.. Commencing countdown, engines on... 2... Check ignition and may God's love be with you... 1... This is Ground control to Major Tom, you've really made the grade, and the papers want to know who's shirts you wear. Now it's time to leave tha capsule if you dare.
This is Major Tom to Ground control; I'm stepping through the door, and I'm floating in a most peculiar way, and the stars look very different today, for here am I sitting in a tin can. Far above the world. Planet Earth is blue and there's nothing I can do. Goin' past one hunred thousand miles, I'm feeling very skilled and I think my spaceship knows which way to go. Tell my wife I love her very much, she knows. Ground control to Major Tom, your circuits dead, there's something wrong, can you hear me Major Tom, can you hear me Major Tom, can you hear me Major Tom, can you hear me..."
Tuesday, October 07, 2003
Things should be better soon. I'm frustrating.
Alright, going back to school... Sorry I'm so down. I'm sorry to all that I've offended in my posts. Bye
Like I've said before. My website is something to merely look at... Don't take anything to heart, and as a general disclaimer to all
No one, HAS TO read this stuff. So if you're not in the mood, skip it.
Monday, October 06, 2003
Jamesh shaid go eat a shandswish...
Today was such a boring day. I wrote down a bunch of ideas for my blog and they're all very true and probably entertaining. But I can't bring myself to post them. Sorry to tease you like that, but that's what I thought about all day.
Sunday, October 05, 2003
*edited*
So all in all, this weekend was very NOT COOL. I hope tomorrow goes better. I hope someone cares tomorrow.
"How could I just let you walk away, just let you leave without a trace. When I stand here taking every breath, for you. You're the only one who really knew me at all. How can you just walk away from me when all I can do is watch you leave.
Take a look at me now, there's just an empty space, there's nothing left here to remind me, just the memory of your face.
You coming back to me is against the odds and that's just something I'll have to face."
DL the Postal Service's version of "Against the Odds"
It's freakin' sick!
Saturday, October 04, 2003
Yep, was gonna pound nails, but it's my bro's Bday today. Now I'm playing xbox. Yep.
Boy - "KG"
Girl - "What's a KG?"
Boy - "You don't know what a KG is? HAHAHA"
Girl - "Nope. But I play a mean washboard"
Friday, October 03, 2003
*edited*
Thursday, October 02, 2003
OK! I'll tell you! My baby's here. I named her Lucy. She sings to me all day long... To be honest with you, she's singing to me right now. I'll take care of you forever Lucy, I swear!
