my friend matthew

Polo is getting to be a lot more fun. I still am not that great at all the physical kicking and whatnot but so far I'm not dead.

Should someone who is blatantly unfair to you, receive your care in return?
Should someone who assumes the worst of you, enjoy your happiness?
Should someone who makes fun of the way you look, be able to touch you?
No? I don't think so either.

So it's been another day of harsh water polo and harsh relationships.

Today was the semi-real first practice of waterpolo and I'm pretty darn tired. I dunno what tomorrow will hold, but I'm really excited about it.

I went out to practice with water polo today. It's gonna be a lot more fun than I thought it would be, so i'm even more stoaked about summer.

It's obviously going to take even longer with every mistake I make. Sometimes that hermit idea sounds really good. Maybe if I lived on a mountain somewhere, I couldn't piss anyone off. Actually I only piss one person off. Wait a tic. If I only piss one person off out of all my friends, what do you think it could mean? Could it mean that it's not me, since they're the only one I have this problem with? Glory be, I'm off the hook, maybe I'm not such a retard (as "they" call me) after all.

I want to skip the next 6 years of life, all the way up until the day of my wedding. That's when it all goes down. True love, sex, alcohol*, freedom, family, driving, sex, the party that God forbids will then be permitted. Kids think that it's dumb that you can't do all this stuff so they do it any way, but the truth is, you can... After you're married. God never said, "DON'T EVER PARTY" he said, "You may party after you're married" So keep your chins up guys, don't give in. It'll be more fun after you're married any way. (*In MY religion)

People are so ignorant. Why can't we all just chill and be happy with each other. If there's one little thing wrong, people go crazy. In the words of Jack Johnson, "Slow down"

Bad mistakes, I've made a few. But when will the madness end?! I dunno, but for now I think I'm going to turn into a hermit and go chill by myself.

I compare myself to everyone. This is a realization that I just recently had today. Naturally guys, but girls as well. I'm sure this isn't healthy for it's not just a comparison of looks or physical height, on an intilectual level as well. This will either lead to me becoming an arrogant pig, or the kid that won't look at you when you're talking to him/her. You know, the real shy and clumsy one.

Ahh, I need to lean. I need to lean soon. I can't do this!

If there are so many words to use, why do we mainly use: "nope", "no", "nuthin", "i dunno". Doesn't this amount to nothing compared to the vast lexicon of words that has been provided for us?

I'm ready to share this with you.

with every day that passes,
and we are not together
her need for me increases,
yet my need for will weather

i'm tired of working toward a goaless goal
and getting my hopes so high
something needs to progress soon
yet it won't, and i can't say why

she doesn't want my partnership
and the bond we used to have
i aimlessly beg her every day
for when we used to love and laugh

she gets to make the desicion
of when we reunite
yet she does not take into account
that my heart is losing the light

she says, "boy, soon"
"yet if you make ONE mistake"
"you'll be waiting much MUCH longer!"
it's with time my desire will shake

she grows toward me, as i grow away
and when i say, "it must be soon!"
she doesn't care, and she leaves me there
may i give up by this coming june

i have time to focus on her,
yet she does not focus on me
i have all my attention on my goal
while she relaxes on a boat in a sea

"do this, do that,
don't you ever do that again"
she tells me how to get her back
but i'll never see the end

it's boiling down, to the very last moments
we'll ever have again
unless she gives in, and trusts her love
like she once did, we will obtain-

-what we once had, together as one
like we had... when we had first begun

dude, i'm so out of it. i sleep way too much, what's wrong with me. i started keeping a calendar and it's helping, what magic?!! so anyway, i don't expect you to be excited about my website given that i never update it anymore. i hope you check back atleast once a month. well anyway, wake me up. call me. i need to not sleep so much. whatever, i'm rambling. au'revoir!